Psyche & Soul 20: TRANSFORMATION THROUGH COMMUNITY & COMPASSION

 Psyche & Soul 20

TRANSFORMATION THROUGH COMMUNITY & COMPASSION 

JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

Podcast link:

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2-20-PSYCHE--SOUL-47-emfkd8

 

The podcast last week (No. 19) referred to the massive disruption of life that covid-19 has ushered in. However, in the depth of this disruption that is quite overwhelming, lies the opportunity to create a more beautiful and humane world.

SEEDS OF TRANSFORMATION

As we are used to hearing, in every crisis there is an opportunity. The world as we knew is dead and a new world is struggling to be born. We are witnesses and participants in these birth pangs.

The pandemic has forced us to ask some fundamental existential questions, disquieting questions about the deeper realities of life which, earlier, would have been smothered under the relentless pace of our driven way of life. This questioning is paving the way toward transformation of life and priorities.

As Otto Scharmer, Professor at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) writes in his blog: “As systems collapse, people rise. People rise to the occasion in an absolutely remarkable manner. Hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, of volunteers have shown up in their own countries and communities to help their neighbors …. The resilience of the human spirit, the activation of immense profound love and altruistic action, and the deep connections humans feel to each other in such a moment of crisis are moving and awe-inspiring.”

A TIME FOR COMMUNITY AND COMPASSION

Social scientists such as Otto Scharmer, Bob Hanson, Peter Block, Margaret Wheatley and others are reaching a consensus that the way forward from the Covid -19 disruption is through community and compassion. Today, we do not know what the future is going to be, even in the next few months. The challenge is to stay together as a strong community to face what is coming. We are challenged to create the kind of space in which we can feel together and shape together the world that is struggling to emerge.

At a time when life is disrupted and social connections fragmented the greatest need is to build community. At a time when distress is commonplace and so many are wrestling with pain and fear, the need is to reach out in compassion. At a time when loneliness is at a peak, the need is to connect with one another. It is time to reach out in empathy, to be motivated by collective wellbeing, to move from “ego systems to eco systems” to use Otto Scharmer’s favourite phrase. Covid-19 has reminded us of our interconnectedness and interdependence. We survive or sink together. As Pope Francis says in Fratelli Tutti, what we need is the realization that every member of our human race is brother or sister to every other member, no matter how distant or unfamiliar.

Bricks in the Building of Community

·        Sharing Our Vulnerability

We build communities when we share our vulnerabilities. The deeper we share from the inside of us honestly, revealing our pain, fears and anxieties, our uncertainties and insecurities, the deeper the others feel the need to share theirs. When we share our hardships and are sensitive to the hardships others face, experience one another’s pain, we create a bond. We learn to listen deeply to each other. Mary Oliver expresses this dynamic poetically in Wild Geese: “Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.” This sharing and listening result in a mutual opening and expansion of the intelligence of the heart leading to widening of the circle of compassion. Community happens.

·        Transcending Categorization and Exclusion

Community building calls for trans-categorization thinking. Especially at times of crisis the temptation is to see people through categories – us and them (of all sorts). Categorization leads to judgment, contempt and exclusion. Instead of categorization what is needed is curiosity about others. We need to suspend old habits of judgment, have an eagerness to learn about others, see them with fresh eyes.  We need to listen deeply and non-judgmentally. Curiosity and non-judgmental, deep listening will lead us to discover others are no different from ourselves and hence to inclusion and empathy. It helps us break down and cross barriers that divide the world into “us and them” and create an inclusive society.

·         Transformation of Attention

Building community calls for a transformation of attention – from self to the other. We need to shift our gaze very consciously away from self to the other, to the world out there. We need to remove the blindfold of self-focus that prevent us from truly seeing the other as the other is and the situations in which the other is caught up, as they really are. It is this kind of conscious attention toward the other that awakens empathy.

·      From Competition to Collaboration

Community building calls for moving from competition to collaboration. The questions to ask are: What will make all of us flourish, not just me? What is the shared future we want to create together? Transformation happens when we come together and pursue a common purpose– the wellbeing of all. When we do that, we turn crisis into opportunity. This calls for courage to let go of self-interest and parochial thinking, to be empathic and generous, to build bridges and alliances across differences.

·       Caring for the Earth

Creating community calls for caring for our common home - the earth. As Pope Francis exhorts us in Laudato Si, we need to develop greater ecological sensitivity that heals the divide between us humans and the cosmos that we inhabit. Compassion needs to be extended to the earth that is bleeding through the uncaring and insensitive over-exploitation of resources. Currently we are consuming 1.5 times the earth’s capacity to renew itself, hastening its exhaustion.

Being a Peace Warrior

Finally, to build community we are called to be a peaceful, conciliatory presence in the midst of violent situations.  Accordingly to Margaret Wheatley this calls for cultivating virtuous dispositions and practices: compassion, courage, curiosity, kindness, understanding, empathy, vulnerability – and forgiveness. We are invited to access the deeper levels of our humanity where these abide and give them expression. For this we need to create moments of stillness, moments to connect to their source. We need to slow down and put a break on our driven life. We need to become more contemplative. Contemplation enables us to become more calm, peaceful and gentle.

And so, we are invited to journey on, chastened by the pandemic, courageously facing adversity and unpredictability, with changed perspectives and purposes, motivated to build communities of love through compassion, curiosity and courage.

Introspection

·         What is the call to transformation that we are individually and collectively sensing? How are we being challenged by this call?

·         Which of the suggested means of building community appeals to you or you feel you have to practise more? Why?

·         To which one practice will you commit yourself in order to create compassionate communities?

Prayer

In the Letter to the Colossians (Ch. 3, 12-14)St. Paul speaks of some the qualities that help us build communion in community, such as compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, patience and forgiveness. We could read this passage and stay with whatever is evoked in us and spend some time in prayer, asking God help to build communities of compassion.

 

Have a pleasant weekend. Be well. Be safe. Be blessed.

Pictures: Courtesy Google Images

 

JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB, PhD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com

 

 

 

Psyche & Soul 29: ENHANCING MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLBEING THROUGH MEANINGFUL LIVING

 podcast link:

www.anchor.fm/boscom

https://anchor.fm/boscom/episodes/2-29-Psyche--Soul--65-ep1kp6

Hello, this is Jose Parappully, Salesian priest and clinical psychologist at Sumedha Centre for Psychospiritual Wellbeing at Jeolikote, Uttarakhand, with another edition of Psyche & Soul. 

In this weekend’s podcast I shall continue exploration of mental health and wellbeing by looking at the role of meaningful living

 

An important resource for our mental wellbeing is finding life meaningful and purposeful, even in the midst of tragedy.

Recent research on health and happiness show that a sense of meaning in life is one of the major contributors to emotional and physical wellbeing. Psychologists call finding meaningfulness in life creating “Coherence.” Coherence, is founded in the deeply human desire to make sense of the world. Trauma, such as caused by Covid-19, fragments our basic assumptions about life, especially of safety, security, predictability and a benevolent universe. When this happens, meaningfulness of life can get diluted or even disappear altogether. We can gradually sink into clinical depression and sometimes think of ending our life and even attempt to do so.

Meaningfulness is essential to sustain our wellbeing. We need to recreate meaning in the midst fragmentation, disappointments and frustrations that are part of our live, especially these days.

When we find some meaning in the midst of personal tragedy it improves our mental health. Based on his extensive research on expressive writing, Psychologist James Pennebaker observes that when people write about traumatic experiences and reorganize these experiences into coherent and meaningful narratives, their psychological health and well-being increases.

Something Meaningful to Do

When we have something meaningful to do, something we enjoy doing, life becomes meaningful, satisfying, fulfilling. When we do not have it, we feel frustrated, unhappy, become sour with life.  Loss of meaning and purpose is at the root of depression and suicidality. Finding life meaningful is antidote to depressive and suicidal ideation.

Something to Look Forward

While having something to do in the present, having something to which we can look forward with hope and some certainty, such as getting a new job, or getting a promotion, finding a spouse and looking forward to a happy married life, or getting ordained a priest adds to the meaningfulness of life.

Having something to which we can look forward gives us a feeling of control over our lives and boosts our self-esteem, enhances our wellbeing. It makes it much easier for us to triumph over present difficulties and problems and maintaining our sanity and serenity.

Reaching Out to Others

Reaching out to others, making others’ lives significant, is one of the major ways that we can bring meaningfulness into our own lives. Personality psychologist Dan McAdams observes that goals that enhance the future of humanity as a whole contributes in special way to health and happiness. There is much research that says that when we engage in acts of kindness and compassion it can create positive emotions in us which in turn boost of our mental wellbeing.

Questions to Ask

Psychologists Craig Polizzi and colleagues suggest some questions that can help us create meaning and purpose: What is important to me? What makes me feel good, even when confronted with a situation I can’t fully control? What do I want other people to say about me and how I respond to painful situations? What do I want to be known for? What is it to which I look forward with eagerness? The answers to these questions often reveal to us our deeper motivations and what really matters to us. This enables us to pursue meaningful goals and activities under the darkest of circumstances and achieve a resilient outcome and maintain long-term psychological wellbeing (Clinical Neuropsychiatry, 2020 17, 2, p. 61)

Daily experiences of positive meaning come in several forms. Psychologist Barbara Frederickson cites some of these based on her many years of research. The most frequently reported forms include: feeling connected to others and cared about (22%), having an opportunity to be distracted from every day cares (21%), feeling a sense of achievement, pride, or self-esteem (17%), feeling hope or optimism (13%), and receiving affirmation or validation from others (11%).

The Religious Worldview

Many persons find meaning in the midst of suffering through their religious worldview. Belief in an afterlife sustains many to remain undisturbed in the face of impending death. Gordon Allport, the founder-father of personality psychology had observed a long time ago: “The religious sentiment…is the portion of the personality that arises at the core…and for this reason is capable of conferring marked integration upon personality.”

Contemporary personality psychologist Robert Emmons, echoes Allport: “Religion and spirituality can provide a unifying philosophy of life and serve as an integrating and stabilizing force in the face of constant environmental and cultural pressures that push for fragmentation, particularly in post-modern cultures.”

We have to find our own ways to find meaningfulness in life. Without it mental wellbeing would be a challenge.

Nandita (name changed), who is therapy for some years, has frequently struggled with meaningfulness of her life. She recently expressed the following that shows how not finding meaning in life affects one’s wellbeing. She wrote:

"One existential query about meaning of life/universe that I have been struggling with and for which I can’t see a possibility of an answer within my reach, still has me in its grip. It has set in a kind of inertia. On the surface life is going on in the way possible under current circumstances but deep down there is a sense of existence being non-sensical. I came across the following during my readings, which exactly describes what I am presently experiencing: ‘For humans to be able to live they must either not see the infinite, or have such an explanation of the meaning of life as will connect the finite with the infinite.’

The desire is to get an automatic tailor-made answer that brings with it an instant clarity of purpose, passion in its act and potential for a sense of fulfillment – so that life can move on meaningfully. ...

I need to overcome my inner inertia emerging from lack of trust in being able to ever find a meaning in life through this ocean of unknowing."

 

Introspection and Prayer

We could now take a few moments to ask ourselves: What gives meaning and purpose to my life? ….. If I am experiencing meaninglessness at this time, what is it I can do to create meaning and purpose?

We could offer to our ever present and compassionate God who has our welfare and wellbeing at heart, whatever is causing meaninglessness in our lives and listen to what God might tell us as to how we can enhance meaningfulness in our lives and thereby improve our mental health and wellbeing…..

Have a meaningful weekend.

Be well. Be safe. Be blessed.

 

Thank you for listening/reading.

Pictures: Courtesy Google Images

JOSE PARAPPULLY SDB, PHD

sumedhacentre@gmail.com