SALESIANS OF DON BOSCO EXPLORE MIDLIFE DYNAMICS

Jose Parappully, Director of Sumedha Centre, facilitated a four-day work shop (September 19-22, 2012) at Don Bosco Renewal Centre, Bangalore on the theme “Midlife Dynamics and Psychosexual Maturity.”

This workshop was part of a six-week long Salesian Renewal Course (somewhat ambitiously termed “Second Novitiate”) that has been organised by the Salesian Provincial Conference of South Asia.  All Salesians in South Asia within 15-20 years after Perpetual Profession are to attend these renewal programme that will be held every year.

This inaugural programme had 26 Salesians from 11 different Salesian Provinces of India. Forty eight had been expected.

Parappully presented how men and women in the midlife years experience gradually, and sometimes dramatically, discontent with how things are and desire something more in life. He described the various midlife dynamics, especially a re-awakening of sexuality and intimacy needs and how these can be integrated into one’s celibate commitment. He presented the major challenge in the second half of life for religious committed to the celibate way of life as moving away from the pressure of personal accomplishments based on self-reliance and self-sufficiency to deepening of one’s spiritual life and cultivating a more intimate relationship with God.

The participants found the workshop immensely useful for them at this time in their life. In fact, one suggested that “every Salesian at this period of their life should attend a programme like this. It will really improve our religious and community life.”

One of the things that the participants especially appreciated is the atmosphere created during the workshop that enabled them to share freely about sexuality and intimacy. As one 43-year-old priest disclosed, “This is the first time in my life that I have ever spoken to anyone on these topics. It has been very liberating.”

Many participants remarked that the workshop has given them a lot more of knowledge and awareness about midlife dynamics, sexuality and intimacy that has helped them to understand themselves and others, and which will also help improve their inter-personal relationships and their ministerial effectiveness.

MIDLIFE DYNAMICS AT ST FRANCIS ASHRAM

Jose Parappully, Director of Sumedha Centre, facilitated a two-day workshop on “Midlife Dynamics and the Spiritual Journey” for 15 Capuchin Friars of the Lucknow Capuchin Province at St. Francis Asharam, Nainital, on 12-13 September.

The Workshop focused on four Journeys that midlifers are called make: Journey Inward, Journey into the Past, Journey Outward and Journey into the Future. The inputs presented various midlife dynamics and transformative processes especially the integration of the masculine and the feminine (animus/anima), the redemption of the “Shadow,” reclaiming of “Dreams” and the integration of sexuality, intimacy and celibate chastity. Participants had the opportunity to reflect on their experiences in the light of the inputs and share them in small and large groups.

The Friars found the Workshop very useful. “Very enriching”, “an eye-opener,” “gained very useful insights,” “awakened deep thoughts” and “very helpful” were some of the frequent phrases the Friars used to describe their experience of the Workshop.

SPIRITUAL RETREAT AT VILLA THERESA

Jose Parappully, the Director of Sumedha Centre, facilitated an eight-day Spiritual Retreat for the Animators of Communities of the Bombay Province of the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary. It was held at Villa Theresa Convent in Mumbai from September 2 to 10. Twenty nine sisters participated.

The retreat was presented as a Desert Journey, using the metaphors of “Wilderness” and “Paradise” as presented by the spiritual guru Henry Nouwen. The theme for the day was introduced each morning at Mass and elaborated during the talk in the morning. Sisters were given scripture references and specific questions for prayer and reflection during the rest of the day. They also had opportunity to meet with the facilitator for personal sharing. The experiences of the day were brought to the Lord in prayer together in the evening.

Comments made after the retreat indicate that for the sisters this was a “unique” retreat, the kind that “we never had before.” They found it “really helpful” and helped them to have a “deep experience of God’s love” as also to bring attitudinal and behaviour changes. “A really nice retreat” was a common comment.

MIDLIFE DYNAMICS – An “Excellent Programme,” say Participants!

The Midlife Dynamics and the Spiritual Journey programme at Sumedha Centre concluded yesterday (August 31) with the participants expressing immense satisfaction with the content of the programme, the organisation, the atmosphere at Sumedha, hospitality and facilities – and the scenic surroundings of Sumedha.

The dominant metaphor that informed the programme was that of “Journey” – represented by Scriptural journeys – that of Abram from Haran and that of the disillusioned disciples on the road to Emmaus. Abram, we are told, “journeyed by stages,” setting up an altar wherever he pitched his camp, turning wherever he stopped into “sacred space” – a place to encounter God. Jesus joins the disillusioned disciples, listens to their stories, reframes those stories and gives them a profound revelation of himself that transforms them, and they return to Jerusalem their “hearts burning” within them. The midlife programme was designed to provide participants similar experiences. Feedback from the participants confirmed that indeed was their experience at Sumedha.

Jose Parappully, the Director of Sumedha, facilitated the programme.

The psychological content of the programme was based on Erikson’s developmental stages, especially the stages of identity, intimacy, generativity and integrity. Rich input that integrated much of available literature on midlife, carefully selected journal articles and book chapters provided as reading material, expressive writing and drawing, somatic meditation which incorporated music, meditation, bioenergetics and dance, thematic movies, sharing in small and big groups, well-integrated liturgies, and an outing to the lakes provided a unique transformative experience to the participants. Some typical comments from participants:

“This was an inward journey for me. The inputs—especially on spirituality, sexuality, celibacy, intimacy—, the opportunity for quiet contemplation, provided me new and helpful insights.” Amal Raj

“The relaxing and trusting atmosphere created helped me open myself in ways I have never done before. New insights to enrich my consecrated life.” Archana

“A unique programme. From the very first to the very last session, it helped me to be in touch with myself in ways I have never experienced before.”  Biji.

“Feel very enriched.  The inputs and time for reflection were very helpful. Felt free to share my inner life. Gained better understanding of especially of spirituality, celibacy and intimacy.” Arul

“Feel energised. What was most helpful was getting deep into myself. The whole programme was arranged in such a way as to experience integration and wholeness. Very enriching.” Flory.

“I had an excellent time here from arrival to leaving. The friendly and interdependent atmosphere, the hospitality, the food, the holistic approach. New understandings of spirituality and sexuality from the inputs, articles and sharing. Strengthened my values” Kumar

“This was a liberating experience. A well-integrated course –not just the rich inputs, but the drawing, writing, dancing, sharing and praying. Inputs clarified concepts. Drawings brought out what was hidden within. The dancing was very liberating.” Rethna Swamy.

“Enjoyed my stay here. Greatly enriched my knowledge on some very important topics and deepened my self-knowledge. I felt very comfortable in the group.” Rupa

“A very holistic experience. I feel more integrated and in touch with myself…The surrounding scenic beauty provided a rich environment.” Sangeeta.

“Really enjoyed the course, even though I did not know what it would be like. I gained so much more awareness of myself.” Sheryl

“Deepened my self-awareness. The sharing in groups helped me to come out of myself. I learned so much. Feel I can contribute better to others now.” Soucely.

“I really enjoyed my time here. The beautiful natural surrounding helped to create calmness and quietness. The dancing meditation helped in body, mind, and soul integration.” Xavier

BASIC COUNSELLING SKILLS TRAINING

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for 
a lifetime,” so goes the famous Chinese proverb. Similarly, counselling is a journey of the
client to“KNOW THYSELF” so that she can find a solution to her problem, of course
the counsellor helping the client in the entire journey. The counsellor plays a pivotal
role in the counselling process and their personality influences the therapeutic alliance
in major way.

There are numerous ways to the mountain top but the view is the same. Techniques and 
principles in therapeutic theory are many, but what matters the most is the counsellor’s
attitude and approach in the therapy and their evolution as a pillar of strength and ray
of hope for the client.

These are few of my observations from the “Basic Counselling Skills Training” at Maris Stella
College,Vijayawada from August 6-11, 2012 by Fr. Jose Parappully SDB, Ph.D., Director of
Sumedha Centre, Joelikotewhich I attended.

It was a role- reversal for all the members of the camp and it was with many apprehensions, 
I sat on the first day. But Fr. Jose had uniformly spaced the sessions in such a way that
every theory class was complimented by liberal practical sessions. The video lessons gave us
a demonstration of how counselling sessions should be handled.  Fr. Jose’s down-to-earth
attitude, simple style, sense of humour and keen sense for detail made every session
memorable and left the participants wanting for more.

What we’ve learnt in the workshop is the basic building block of the entire therapeutic
process but a tiny drop in the vast ocean of therapeutic theory.

A thousand mile journey begins with a single step and this is the first step in our endeavor 
to be counsellors for our students.

One of the deepest secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for 
others. 

Thank you, Fr. Jose for being so and inspiring many more like us……

Mrs. V. Sudha Devi.

Head of the Department of Mathematics

P.G Section

Maris Stella College

Vijayawada

A.P

MIDLIFE DYNAMICS

August 17-31, 2012

Midlife Dynamics and the Spiritual Journey programme commenced on August 17^th evening and will conclude on August 31^st noon.

There are 13 participants – five diocesan priests and eight religious sisters. One priest and one sister who had registered could not come due to illness.

Programme Description: Midlife is a period of profound shifts and changes – in body, mind, & spirit; in perspectives, priorities, values, goals, relationships, sexuality, spirituality etc. This workshop explores these psychological dynamics of midlife so as to deepen and enrich one’s spiritual journey. It explores particularly the four basic midlife issues: identity, intimacy, generativity and integrity. Other topics include spirituality, religious life, aging and emotional well-being, sexuality and celibacy, persona and shadow.  Insights from psychology, medical science and sacred scripture, and the exploratory and healing techniques of the intensive journal, psychosynthesis, expressive arts, meditation and prayer are used in this exploration. (Participant Age Limit: 30-58 years)

SUMEDHA SADHANA

(A Psychospiritual Wholeness Journey)

September 25 – December 03

This is the last programme at Sumedha Centre this year. There are some seats still available for this programme. Those interested please apply immediately.

Course Description: Sumedha Sadhana  is an inner journey in quest of greater healing and wholeness. Participants begin from where they are, looking at what is happening on their spiritual journey. They then move on to explore the psychological dynamics that affect their spirituality and integrate them in healthy ways to create more satisfying and more productive life patterns.

Course Content: Holistic, Process & Formative Spiritualities; Cosmic, Creation & Feminist Spiritualities; Religious & Community Life; Prayerfulness & Healthy Emotional Life; Midlife Dynamics & the Spiritual Journey; Identity & Vocational Commitment; Intimacy, Celibacy & Sexuality; Generativity, Stress & Burnout; Shadows & Subpersonalities; Trauma, Healing & Reconciliation; The Universe story, Jesus Story and Our Story -- are some of the major topics that will be explored. Special place is given to group therapy where participants have the opportunity to face their brokenness and fears, their unhelpful patterns of living and relating and move on to healing and wholeness. The programme concludes with a directed retreat.

Tools & Techniques: Insights from Christian faith and wisdom traditions, various psychological theories of development, as well as experiential tools and techniques from Psychosynthesis, Intensive Journal, Expressive Arts, multi-media, prayer & meditation practices, and Sacred Scripture are used to explore and enhance one’s psychospiritual journey. (Age limit: 30-60 years)

Faculty

Agnes Panikulam MA (Trauma & Healing). Ajoy Fernandes PhD (Jungian Approaches to Self-Awareness). Gerard Alvarez MA (The Universe Story, Jesus Story, Our Story – and the Word). Joe Mannath PhD (Sexuality, Celibacy& Intimacy). Jose Parappully PhD (Therapy, Psychological and Midlife Dynamics, Mature Spirituality, Religious and Community Life, Trauma & Healing, Retreat). MC Abraham PhD (Group Therapy). Peter Lourdes, PhD (Therapy). Shalini Mulackal PhD (Feminist & Women’s Spirituality)

BASIC COUNSELLING SKILLS TRAINING AT MARIS STELLA COLLEGE

The Director of Sumedha Centre was invited to facilitate a training programme in Basic Counselling Skills for 21 members of the staff, including the President and Principal of Maris Stella College, Vijyawada, Andhra Pradesh. The training was held from 6^th to 11^th August.

Maris Stella is an Autonomous College, accredited as “a College with Potential for Excellence.” This year the college completed 50 years. The Golden Jubilee Celebrations were held a few days before the training programme. The College is run by the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary.

The training programme was organised by Sr. M. Goretti Kanakarathinam, who is the Head of the Department of Value Education at the College. The training was in view of setting up a Students’ Counselling Centre at the College. Sr. Kanakarathinam is also a visiting Faculty member at Sumedha Centre.

The training focused on the person of the counsellor and on attending, listening and responding skills. Besides inputs from the trainer, participants were given carefully chosen reading material. Theory was put into practise through exercises on the fundamental skills of counselling and through practice labs where participants took in turn the roles of counsellor, counsellee and observer. The practice sessions were critiqued in small and large groups. Training videos also helped to demonstrate the skills.

The trainees were very pleased with the training and found it very useful “We were able to clarify our misconceptions about counselling. Most of us had thought of counselling as giving advice or solving problems. Now we know it is very different,” said one participant.

Participants found the training useful not only in learning to help their students; it also provided insights and skills for improving their relationships in general.

One participant said that she had been impressed by the need to really listen. “I have made special efforts these days to really listen to my sons at home. It has made a difference to our relationship.”

“I not only learned counselling skills. My life has really been enriched by this training. I have become a better person. I am learning to relate to people with greater sensitivity,” observed another.

These sentiments were shared by other trainees as well.

The College is planning follow-up programmes.