PSYCHOSPIRITUAL DYNAMICS AT MIDLIFE AND BEYOND - Guideposts for a Healthy and Happy Second Half of Life.

 I am very happy to introduce  a  new book I have authored and  published by St. Paul's on Psychospiritual Dynamics at Midlife and Beyond. 

Brief Description of Content

Psychospiritual Dynamics at Midlife and Beyond presents pathways to health and happiness in the second half of life. After presenting the experiences that indicate awakening to psychological midlife, the author goes on to describe some of the major dynamics of midlife and the transformational processes that we have to engage in during midlife in order to make the second half of our life meaningful, satisfying and fruitful. In the last few chapters of the book he describes the dynamics of the post-midlife years, particularly those related to aging gracefully, and the types of spiritualties relevant to that period of our lives. Each chapter has real life stories to illustrate its contents and introspective questions for readers to stay with in order to make the reading itself a personal transformative process.

 

Appreciation for and endorsement of the book

No work on mid-life that I have come across contains such a thorough, detailed and panoramic treatment of such a vast range of topics in such a practical manner. I am so grateful to Jose Parappully for giving us this work, and I recommend it whole-heartedly to the seeker of life.

Br. Philip Pinto CFC

Former Superior General of the Christian Brothers

 

The unique merit of this book is that it combines admirably both psychology and spirituality. In order to find the water that will quench the thirst of our minds and hearts, Fr. (Dr) Parappully draws from two wells – psychology and spirituality.

This book is a treasure. You will do well to buy copies to gift to your friends who are at midlife or have gone beyond it. They are sure to thank you for such a gift. Bishops and Major Superiors can achieve what they have failed to achieve over the years simply by getting their priests or religious to read and discuss the contents of this book.

M.A. Joe Antony, SJ

Editor, JIVAN and former Editor, The New Leader

 

In Psychological Dynamics and Midlife and Beyond, Dr Parappully invites us to take a long, lingering look at ‘mid-life,’ in the context of our adolescent dreams, as he sets to work ‘on the shattering of illusions, our false and idealized notions about self, others and the world,’ with a view to making the life that remains ‘satisfying and generative in meaningful ways.’

 

This book invites candid introspection; it helps expose the illusions we live by; it pulls the plug from under the carefully cultivated self-images and storylines that we create, project and maintain, showing in the process how fragile is our hold on balanced living.

 

Stephen Mavely, SDB

Former Vice Chancellor, Assam Don Bosco University

 

the book is available from St. Paul's Book Stores in most towns and cities and online at the link below:

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EMPTINESS, HOPELESSNESS, DARKNESS -- AND THEN A BURST OF LIGHT AND LIFE!

       GOOD FRIDAY

On that fateful Good Friday, so many years ago,  the story had apparently ended. Whatever hopes Jesus of Nazareth had evoked in his disciples and those around him, are shattered. Remember the words of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24, 21): “We had hoped…..” They had hoped  that this Jesus was the one who would set them free from the tyranny of Rome, and of the priests and the Rabbis. But that afternoon they had seen him hanging there on the cross, brutally killed for his attempt to create a new society. They saw him dead and buried. Hope had turned to despair.

HOLY SATURDAY

Holy Saturday is like a dead end, a time when nothing seems to be happening, when one sees no light at the end of the tunnel. Good Friday looks like the end of the story. But not really. The story will continue, although there is nothing to indicate that. There is only an aching emptiness, a painful silence.

But all that will change.

Holy Saturday is the in-between time – between something old dying and something new emerging. Holy Saturday is the time between the seed falling to the ground and dying and then germinating new life. 

EASTER SUNDAY

Light appears at the end of the tunnel. Death is conquered. Despair turns to wonder. The silence and gloom of Holy Saturday is shattered in a blaze of glory. Out of darkness streams of colour break forth - in the dazzling brightness of  the Resurrection.

There is death. But there is also re-birth.

As a popular song says, “there is sunshine after the rain, there is laughter after the pain.”  

.........

When have we felt life to be a long, long Holy Saturday, when we felt like we have reached a dead end – with no way forward, no light at the end of the tunnel? …. And then surprised – at the happy turn of events? 

 May your Good Fridays and Holy Saturdays turn to Easter Sundays!

SUMEDHA OUTREACH AT NVSC, PUNE – “Immensely Useful.”

 Dr. Jose Parappully, the Director of Sumedha centre at Jharmari, Punjab, was invited to facilitate a training workshop on the “POCSO Act 2012 and Helping Survivors of Sexual Abuse.” The Workshop was held at the National Vocation Service Centre (NVSC), Ramwadi, Pune from October 28 to November 1, 2024.

There were 41 participants – 16 male and 25 female -- from different parts of the country. This workshop was part of a 9-month training programme for Formators (Trainers of Candidates to the Priesthood and Religious Life).  NVSC is an institution under the auspices of the Conference of Carbolic Bishops of India (CBCI).

Topics covered in this Workshop included: Personal and Professional Boundaries and Boundary Violations, Prevalence Rates of Child and Adult Sexual Abuse in India and in the Catholic Church, Effects of Sexual Abuse on the Survivor, The POCSO Act 2012 and Church Laws on Sexual Boundary Violations, and Pathways to Healing and Recovery.

The methodology included: Inputs with relevant Case Studies, Videos and Songs, Reading and Sharing of Related Texts in Small Groups, Sharing and Discussion in Macro Groups, Introspection Exercises and Journal Writing."

Feedback from the participants show that they benefitted immensely from the Workshop. Twenty seven of the 39 who provided feedback, 27 gave a perfect 10 on a scale of 1-10, one indicating “Very Little Useful” and 10 indicating “Immensely useful,” and four gave a Nine."

Some Typical Comments:

• ·         “I have had such a wonderful workshop for the first time. The workshop enlightened me in so many ways. I gained lots of knowledge on various issues. I liked the methodology of this course. You were to the point, systematic and clear and open for clarification. I enjoyed freedom to express what I wanted to say.”
• ·         “This workshop was really useful for me, because it was so much informative… The way you explained, was really good. Your way of methodology. Explaining each topic, making me share in the smaller group and bring it to the larger group were much appreciated.”
• ·         “So many of the topics were eye-openers for me. Few of the things presented I was ignorant before.”
• ·         “Questions for introspection and group discussions together with participants of both sexes helped to have a sharing in depth and to get to know issues from different perspectives.”

• ·         “I had sometimes wrongly judged people and now I can grow as a compassionate and understanding person towards those who suffer emotionally. The classes gave me lot of awareness about the intensity of people’s traumatic experiences, which opened my eyes not to become a judge over such people.”
• ·       “The workshop increased my knowledge and gave me understanding how to deal with the persons who have experienced abuse without judging but helping the person to come out of it to live fully with happiness. It increased my compassion towards the victims.”

The next Sumedha Outreach Programme is at Ernakulam, Kerala. It is a residential training workshop on the topic “Growing Toward Psychosexual and Celibate Maturity.” Details and contact information on the workshop is given in the brochure below.

WORKSHOP ON PSYCHOSEXUAL INTEGRATION AND CELIBATE MATURITY AT DON BOSCO INSTITUTE, GUWAHATI

 The Navoprerona Wellness Centre, Guwahati, organised a workshop on Psychosexual Integration and Celibate maturity, under the auspices of the Salesian Psychological Association, South Asia, at the Don Bosco Institute, Guwahati, from 16 to 19^th July, 2024. 

The Salesian Psychological Association, South Asia, is celebrating its Silver Jubilee this year. This workshop was the first of many that are planned as part of the Jubilee celebrations.

Dr. Jose Parappully, the Director of Sumedha Centre, Jharmari, Punjab, and former President of Salesian Psychological Association, was the main facilitator.

Sr. K. P. Shobha, and Dr. L. B. Anthony took a session each on the legal and moral aspects of sexuality and celibacy.

Topics covered in the Workshop included Understanding Psychosexual and Celibate Maturity, Sex, Sexuality and Intimacy, Sexual Boundary Violations, Abuse and Healing, Celibacy and Heterosexual Attachment Dynamics and Online Pornography.

There were 34 participants – 18 women and 16 men, from various parts of the North-East and Kolkata.

Participants found the workshop immensely helpful for their life and ministry.

Twenty four of the 34 participants gave a perfect 10 put of 10 on the Degree of Usefulness of the Workshop and another seven gave a 9 out of 10.

The general comment on the workshop shared by many was: “The sessions were fantastic!”

Some other comments;

“The workshop was very useful because I learned many things which were never openly discussed before. Everything was an eye-opener.” F.

“I came to know more about my own sexuality. Earlier I looked at it as my burden and problem in living out my vocation. Through the workshop I realise that I can live out my vocation meaningfully accepting the daily struggles involved in it.” M

“The workshop enlightened me about some aspects of sexuality of which I was ignorant of and needed necessary clarification. “M

“All religious (men and women) should be given a chance to attend such workshop.” M.

The workshop provided me with much knowledge, cleared many of my doubts and provided me with practical tips on how to deal with certain personal issues in living my religious life meaningfully. F.

“The workshop was useful me because first of all it helped me to understand the beauty of sexuality and also to accept my sexuality. “M.

“I have benefitted immensely from all the topics discussed. They were very apt for my life.” M.

 

The Salesian Psychological Association’s next Jubilee Workshop is on “Online Pornography” on 10^th and 11^th August at the Don Bosco Provincial House, Bangalore.

TEACHERS’ WORKSHOP ON ENHANCING INSTITUTIONAL EXCELLENCE

Dr. Jose Parappully, Director of Sumedha Centre for Psychospiritual Wellbeing at Jharmari, Punjab was invited to facilitate a training workshop for teachers of Jesus and Mary School at Bhurewala, Haryana, on April 2, 2024.

Bhurewala is a very remote farming village in Haryana. The school caters to students from poor families. There are about 300 students and 19 teachers at Jesus and Mary School, Bhurewala. There is also a small hostel.

All the teachers, including the Principal Sr. Kusum, attended the workshop. The topic was Enhancing Educational excellence.

Dr. Parappully used data from organizational psychology research, exercises and group activities to discuss the significant contributors to institutional excellence.

He helped teachers to assess the current scenario in regard to institutional excellence at Jesus and Mary and helped them plan measures to enhance institutional excellence at the school.

The participants were unanimous in their feedback that the workshop was immensely useful. It had not only provided them ways and motivation to enhance excellence, but also insights and skills that will be useful for classroom management.

HOLY SATURDAY -- DEADEND!

 

On Good Friday the story had apparently ended. Whatever hopes of liberation and freedom from oppression Jesus had evoked have been shattered. Remember the words of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus after the crucifixion: “We had hoped…..” Now there is only a great silence, the silence of the tomb, a silence that will last all through Saturday.

 Holy Saturday is the in-between time – between something old dying and something new emerging. Holy Saturday is the time between the seed falling to the ground and dying and then germinating new life. Holy Saturday is like a dead end, a time when nothing seems to be happening, when one sees no light at the end of the tunnel. 

Good Friday looks like the end of the story. But not really. The story will continue. Light will appear at the end of the tunnel. Death will be conquered. The silence and gloom of Holy Saturday will be shattered in a blaze of glory. Out of darkness light will break forth!

When have we felt life to be a long Holy Saturday, when we felt like we have reached a dead end – with no way forward, no light at the end of the tunnel? …. And then surprised – at the happy turn of events? As a popular song says, “there is sunshine after the rain, there is laughter after the pain.” 

A Holy Saturday Prayer

Heal us, O Lord,  of our disappointments and our hopelessness, the meaninglessness that fill our lives after loss and trauma. Fill us with hope and optimism to help us believe that pain and sorrow do not last forever, that healing and restoration is possible, that better times lie ahead. Make us instruments of hope to the hopeless and love to the forlorn. Amen

SUMEDHA OUTREACH: "TRAUMA & HEALING" PROGRAMME AT NVSC, PUNE

 Dr. Jose Parappully, the Director of Sumedha Centre, Jharmari,  was invited to facilitate a training workshop on “Trauma & Healing” at the National Vocation Service Centre (NVSC), Pune from October 23 to 28, 2023.

There were 36 participants, 26 religious women and 10 priests, most of whom are involved in the field of religious and priestly formation and who are currently doing a certification course of 9 months.

During the workshop Dr. Parappully explored with the participants the nature of psychological trauma, particularly that arising from sexual exploitation, its prevalent rates in India, its consequence, and presented 15 specific approaches to the healing of trauma. He also presented the Protection of Children from sexual Offences (POCSO) Act of 2012 and a critique on it.

Participants found the workshop immensely helpful and observed that such a workshop is very necessary for them as formators. They came to know many things that they were unaware of. Eighteen of the 36 participants (including a survivor of trauma) gave a perfect 10 out of 10 on Degree of usefulness. Seven gave a 9, and another seven an 8.

Some typical comments:

·         “it was such a beautiful class on trauma and healing. I could heal myself.”  (F)

·         “Very informative on this very sensitive issue that’s increasing rapidly day by day.” (M)

·         “It was useful for me to understand the real struggles that the abused person goes through. My opinion about them changed. I also gained some useful skills and knowledge. Now I have kind of confidence to deal with people who come to m for help in this regard.” (F)

·         “It was very much informative, and has created an interest in the subject. It has helped me to become more sensitive and supportive towards the victims. It has moved my heart and mind to be much more caring and compassionate. It is love that heals.  To make the client to feel loved, accepted, cared for, listened to, brings about healing. It will be useful to be a good human being, in the ministry.” (M).

·         “I came to know what is sexual abuse and trauma.; how to help the client who comes for healing; I came to know the methods or techniques to help the client.” (M)

·         “it was very useful to know the methods to heal the person and also I was able to reflect on my own life and see if I were abused anywhere, or if it is so how to heal.” (F)

·         “This class made me aware in many ways that to be a good listener, to be compassionate and kind is very important, not to have judgmental attitude but to have an open mind to accept survivors as they are.” (Gender not indicated.)

·         “I realized the gravity of the effects of sexual abuse and therefore it evoked compassion, and need to give up my judgmental attitude.” (F).

·         “This workshop evoked in me a great desire to know more about the topic.” (F.)

ENHANCING INSTITUTIONAL EXCELLENCE AT DON BOSCO.

Dr. Jose Parappully, Director of Sumedha Centre, facilitated a workshop on “Enhancing Institutional Excellence” for the staff of Don Bosco Sr. Secondary school, Jharmari, Punjab.

The workshop was held on June 30^th at Sumedha Centre, Jharmari, situated on thee campus of Don Bosco School.

There were 37 participants.

Dr. Parappully began the workshop with a short meditation and moved on to present what Organizational research shows in regard to factors that enhance institutional excellence.

He then led the group to assess the situation at Don Bosco in the light of the research findings and to commit themselves to actions that will enhance institutional excellence at Don Bosco.

The participants found the workshop immensely useful – “informative and beneficial.”

MIDLIFE DYNAMICS & THE PSYCHOSPIRITUAL JOURNEY

 Dr. Jose Parappully, Director of Sumedha centre, was invited to facilitate a seven-day workshop on “Midlife Dynamics and the Spiritual Journey” by the director of Gyan Deep Bhavan, the Pastoral Centre of the diocese of Jaipur, situated on the campus of the Bishop’s Hose in Jaipur.  

The programme was held from June 13 to 19, 2023.

There were 18 participants – 14 women and four men, including the Director of the Pastoral centre.

The programme was inaugurated by Most Rev. Oswald J. Lewis, the Bishop of Jaipur. In his inaugural address Bishop Lewis emphasised the importance of holistic development of the person, giving due attention to body, mind and spirit dimensions.

In regard to the content of the programme, Dr. Parappully explored with the participants the following: Awakening to Midlife, Midlife Dynamics such as Loss of Meaning and Purpose, Emotional Awareness of Mortality, Sense of Time Restriction, Re-Assessment of Life and its Priorities, De-Illusioning, Emergence or Re-emergence of Sexuality and Intimacy Needs, and Transformational Processes such as Increased Self-Direction, Mourning Our Losses, Integration of Sexuality, Intimacy and Celibacy,  and Atonement.

Participants in their feedback reported that they found the entire programme very relevant for their lives and that they benefitted immensely from it. Several participants gave a 10 out of 10 on the Scale of Usefulness.

Some Comments:

“It was a wonderful journey going within oneself. It has touched the core of my heart. It was such a transforming experience.”

“It was a wonderful course which enlightened me in many ways, cleared many of my doubts.”

“The programme has helped me a lot in my understanding of the journey of midlife. It has taught me how to unburden my baggages of the past and look forward to the future with energy and hope.”

Midlife Dynamics and the Spiritual Journey is also part of the “Sumedha Sadhana” Programme offered three times a year at Sumedha Centre.

For the 2024 Sumedha centre programme brochure, please contact at: sumedhacentre@gmail.com

ENHANCING LEADERSHIP SKILLS

 The “Enhancing Leadership Skills” Programme at Sumedha Centre for Psychospiritual Wellbeing concluded yesterday (11/-06/23). This short two-week programme commenced on May 27 and had five religious sisters as participants.

Jose Parappully and Philip Pinto facilitated.

This workshop explored concepts, styles, functions and challenges of effective leadership. Through

didactic input and experiential exercises, participants were helped to examine their leadership style,

evaluate their leadership potential and learn new styles and more effective ways of functioning as a leader, particularly from a Christian faith perspective.

Topics covered included the following:

 Self-Awareness

 Leadership Basics

 Theories of Leadership

 Assessment of Leadership Styles

 Being an Emotionally Mature Leader

 Transformational Leadership

 Spirituality of Leadership

 Today’s world, Today’s Church, Today’s Leader

 Jesus Today: Our Model of Leadership

 Synodality: A New Way of Governing

 The Leader as Hero and the Leader as Host

 Strengthening the Soul of Our leadership

Methodology was very experiential using a four-fold approach of Input, Introspection, Interaction

and Intercession.

Course requirement included reading assigned material, active participation in group work,

liturgy, and journaling.

Participants were immensely satisfied with the programme. Four of the five particpants gave a 10 out of 10 score for Usefulness of the programme. The other gave 9 out of 10.

Some comments.

·         “The programme was very well organised with lots of time for introspection.”

·         “The inputs were very good and presented very effectively, systematically, with lots of practical examples. The sharing among participants helped to deepen insights from the inputs.”

·         “The atmosphere was very friendly. Facilitators were experts on the topic.”

·         “Very relevant topics for our life as leader. I was deeply contented and happy to be part of this programme.”

·         “Stay was very comfortable. Food was very tasty. Staff very friendly. Relaxed time table.”

Our next programme is the Sumedha Sadhana- A Psychospiritual Wholeness Journey from July 1 to September 18. All seats are taken.

Seats are available for the September 27 – December 15 Sumedha Sadhana. Contact; sumedhacentre@gmail.com

“ENHANCING FORMATION SKILLS” PROGRAMME CONCLUDES AT SUMEDHA

The “Enhancing Formation Skills” programme concluded very successfully at Sumedha Centre today. 

This two-week training programme commenced on May 7. This was a special programme organized to mark the 20^th anniversary of Sumedha Centre.

The two facilitators were Johny Nedungatt and Jose Parappully.

The programme provided theoretical input as well as opportunities for participants to reflect on their experiences in the light of the inputs provided and to share them with one another and for personal and common prayer. 

It was organised in such ways as to help participants gain a deeper understanding of themselves  as formators and of their  formees and develop the attitudes, dispositions and skills needed to be more effective formators.

The content of the programme included topics such as:

Portrait of a Formator, Spirituality of a Formator, Psychosexual Integration of Formees, Formation and Emotional Development, Formation Environment, Mental and Emotional Health, Psychosexual Integration, Healing Interventions, Vocational Discernment, and  Spiritual Direction.

Besides the intellectual activities, there were also moments of community relaxation and celebrations which helped to jell the group together..

Although only eight participants (3 priests and 5 religious women) attended, all were immensely satisfied with the programme.  On a scale of 1 to 10 on Usefulness, 1 meaning “Very Little Useful” and 10, “Immensely Useful”, four gave a perfect 10, and the other four 9.

Some comments:

“Within two weeks I learned more than what I learned in a 2-year formation programme elsewhere.  The best programme I have ever attended. – a truly enriching and enhancing experience. It made me a more confident formator. Great environment. Excellent food and accommodation.” P.

“I came with lots o confusion and self-doubts. The programme was informative, practical and very effective. A transformative Emmaus experience. The very soothing, calm and quiet environment helped in self-realization. I have been enriched by the programme.” B.

“The programme was very insightful and practical. It deepened my self-awareness an enhanced my formation skills, making me more confident. There was great community spirit, everything was just wonderful.” K.

“After attending this programme, I feel now confident an competent as a formator. Very good feelings about the place. Sumptuous meals, great tam spirit.” M.

“Environment created good feelings as a I arrived at the Centre. Learned so many useful things. I am encouraged to go ahead as a formator. Enjoyed our life together. Delicious food.” S.

“In feel happy, contented and privileged. Learned much about myself as a formator. Every topic was relevant. If I didn’t attend this programme, I would have messed up my formation work. Enjoyed the life together.” J.

“The place was very welcoming. Classes very effective, enriching. Well furnished rooms. Excellent food. The atmosphere here taught me lessons on love, listening, reflection and co-operation.”  G.

“The programme gave me strength and courage to go ahead as a formator. Every class was relevant, useful. Wonderful atmosphere and accommodation.” A